you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
