What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
