can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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