And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
