Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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