8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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