I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
