I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
there is glitter all over my balls
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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