so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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