in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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