Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
