Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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