just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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