I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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