i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
