fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
