Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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