Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
