I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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