when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
