Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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