I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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