Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
