He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
