If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
