is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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