What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
