is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
