So drunk its hurt
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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