hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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