I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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