I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
