Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
