How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize