the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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