If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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