There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
