He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize