What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
