i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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