Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize