he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
