Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
