NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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