i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
