I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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