i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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