I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize