Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
