Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
