She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up under a house in Key West
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