Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
