I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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