one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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