and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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