did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
