The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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