He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize