You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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